Space Force Monsters 1: Melania Repulsa

  The year was 1994. Donald Trump hadn't even entered the picture yet. You might say the current political crisis in outer space, that which necessitates a space force to protect America, began when Melania Repulsa first emerged from a thousand-year slumber inside a dumpster in Slovenia on the moon: While nominally in a position … Continue reading Space Force Monsters 1: Melania Repulsa

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Yankee Book Reviews: Jeter’s Folly and Posada’s Journey Home

As a lover of many things literary and a watcher of any things baseball, I was excited to pick up two books at a local bookstore that were bestselling novels written by famous baseball players: Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada. It was no surprise to me that athletes as talented as those two--Jeter is an all-time great, Posada is … Continue reading Yankee Book Reviews: Jeter’s Folly and Posada’s Journey Home

Game of Thrones Ripped Off Thomas the Tank Engine (2016 Update)

Author's Note: Several years ago I wrote a post comparing the two classic British (accented) television shows. This is an updated version.  I knew there was a reason why Game of Thrones felt so familiar. I experienced the same emotions, learned the same lessons, eye-rolled at the same gratuitous nudity, lived vicariously through the same … Continue reading Game of Thrones Ripped Off Thomas the Tank Engine (2016 Update)

2016 Candidates As Disney Princesses

There was a debate last night! Although celebrities like Kim Kardashian carry the bloodline of American royalty, our cadre of nutty politicians are the next closest thing. With the help of the courageous media, our primary season has 'exposed' the Presidential field as a group of spoiled, pretty people. So why not compare them to our … Continue reading 2016 Candidates As Disney Princesses

Social Media: The Fast Food of the Internet

I haven't been very satisfied with the internet these days. Actually, I haven't been satisfied in general--why is there a bowl filled with Windex in my kitchen?--but the internet certainly hasn't helped. Between bad advice, stupid comments in the comments section, and a steady, exhausting bombardment of celebrity news and Valentine's Days advertisements, the internet … Continue reading Social Media: The Fast Food of the Internet

50 Shades of Dakota

A contract for my next secret lover.  I have a confession to make. I'm tired of being alone. For months now, I've sat in my basement at my computer, starting at pictures of Taylor Swift's bellybutton or Kendall Jenner's pimple, wondering why nobody loves me the way I deserve to be loved. It hasn't been … Continue reading 50 Shades of Dakota