Space Force Monsters 4: No. 2 Pence ill

Background: No. 2 Pence Ill doesn’t call the shots, okay? He’s not No. 1 Pence ill. That’s somebody else. He’ll always be No. 2. Even though appointing Yacht Syndrome as Space Monster of Education was his idea. Appointing Pruitticorn as the Space Monster of Littering was also his idea. The Mnuchin Massacre? The Zinke Deficiency? No. 2. again!

pencill

But threatening Planet Earth and world leaders like Rosie O’Donnell with “quantum plasma radiation and extraterrestrial umbrage the likes of which this galaxy has never seen before”? That was probably not No. 2’s recommendation.

No. 2. Pence ill comes from a planet with an atypical atmospheric composition and thus does not believe in the carbon-greenhouse effect that occurs on Planet Earth.

As for his own personal goals, No. 2. Pence ill hopes to vaporize the rings of Saturn, which he believes promotes homosexuality, and awaits the coming of the second Big Bang, during which all space monsters will be raptured into the Dark Universe.

Evil Superweakness: If in the same room with two females (or more) at a time, No. 2. Pence Ill can’t remember which one is his mother and will devolve into an aborted fetus.

Evil Catchphrase: “Frankly, condoms are a very very poor protection against the vacuum of space. Go Hoosiers!”

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