Space Force Monsters 6: Pruitticorn

Background:¬†Before the space monsters declared war on America, Pruitticorn actually sued Planet Earth for not letting space monsters kill humans fast enough. Therefore, as a bit of an in-joke, Pruitticorn was briefly in charge of the "Space Monsters Human Protection Program", before an unfortunate incident with hand lotion forced him into temporary retirement. Evil Superpowers: … Continue reading Space Force Monsters 6: Pruitticorn

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Space Force Monsters 5: Lady #MAGA

Background: The daughter of powerful space monsters, Lady #MAGA doesn't believe anyone can read her poker face ... but nobody interprets her photogenic smiling, while space monsters destroy our cities, as inscrutable, so much as tone-deaf. Space monsters separate human children from their parents at the atmospheric boundary layer? Lady #MAGA poses with her alien … Continue reading Space Force Monsters 5: Lady #MAGA

Space Force Monsters 4: No. 2 Pence ill

Background: No. 2 Pence Ill doesn't call the shots, okay? He's not No. 1 Pence ill. That's somebody else. He'll always be No. 2. Even though appointing Yacht Syndrome as Space Monster of Education was his idea. Appointing Pruitticorn as the Space Monster of Littering was also his idea. The Mnuchin Massacre? The Zinke Deficiency? … Continue reading Space Force Monsters 4: No. 2 Pence ill

Space Force Monsters 3: Bolt-Goat

Background: Bolt-Goat is an inventor. The giant steampunk mailbox (see above)? That was his idea. Bolt-Goat is a thought leader. ¬†He's also been characterized by his peers as evil, hyper-aggressive and all-around batshit insane. This is incorrect. Bolt-Goat is goatshit insane. Special Powers: Harassing U.N. representatives. Growing out evil mustaches. Scaring people. Seriously, Bolt-Goat is … Continue reading Space Force Monsters 3: Bolt-Goat

Space Force Monsters 2: Blueberry Poopface and Vampire Monkey Man

Background: These fools are in the background of every photo of every space monster-sponsored event. Speeches, cocktail parties ... there they are, on the left or on the right, looking clueless and yet only too appropriate. Just because they won't come down to Earth and become giant-sized to destroy skyscrapers doesn't mean they aren't space … Continue reading Space Force Monsters 2: Blueberry Poopface and Vampire Monkey Man

Space Force Monsters 1: Melania Repulsa

  The year was 1994. Donald Trump hadn't even entered the picture yet. You might say the current political crisis in outer space, that which necessitates a space force to protect America, began when Melania Repulsa first emerged from a thousand-year slumber inside a dumpster in Slovenia on the moon: While nominally in a position … Continue reading Space Force Monsters 1: Melania Repulsa