Live From The Comments Section

Every six years on this blog we like to show our gratitude to loyal readers by showcasing a select comment that best exemplifies the spirit of discursive dialogue that we hope to engage with on this site.

Today that honor belongs to John Kabel of Internetland, who has this to say about my latest post:

Get a mentor. NOT a dating coach or pickup teacher. Find something difficult but rewarding to learn and someone to teach you–NOT your equally rudderless friends. What you need to learn is manhood, which has to be taught and too often isn’t.

Dating is a part of a man’s life, but not the majority of it, and certainly not something you should need to obsess about. Learn about the rest of it and put dating in perspective and you’ll wonder why you worried about it.

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First of all, thank you John for specifically ruling out PUAs, because if I couldn’t bring myself to listen to Korean language CDs, I definitely can’t be bothered to listen to endless advice on social interactions (“its all about them! non-verbal cues!”) as filtered through the words of a sexist douchebag.

I’m a little concerned, however, about how well you know me and my friends. It’s true, they are a bit rudderless, aren’t they? I’m pretty sure some of my friends have never even been on a boat, and to a man (or woman) they most definitely don’t own a yacht. It’s possible Adam Augusiak Boro will be able to purchase one soon, but he doesn’t read this blog so he won’t even know I was talking about him.

But I do really like the idea of learning how to either build a boat from piles of lumber of learning how to be an expert oarsman. This are fairly unique skills and definitely useful, as the world is not short on streams and rivers. The potential to take women on exotic and romantic dates increases as well, and once I take them out to the middle of the river, or even the ocean, there isn’t much competition for attention, so I’ll be able to woo them at my leisure.

Kiss_the_Girl

One question, John: should I learn how to catch fish as well? There is that old saying: show a woman you can catch a fish and she’ll fuck you in the middle of the river in your sex boat, but teach a woman how to fish and she’ll catch a fish too and you can both play with fish while you’re having sex, forever and a life time.

Speaking of things that are elusive and slippery, MANHOOD is most certainly a difficult to even grasp conceptually, let alone allow into your daily affectation. Right now I’m still working on BOYHOOD, but once I beat level 12 I’m going to definitely look into the expansion packs. I’m excited, as I figure manhood involves some combination of the following: shooting animals, taking fewer showers, eating potatoes, spanking women, teaching bartending courses, buying a gun, taking over a large tract of federally-owned land and claiming it as your own, having sex with another man’s wife at a swinger party, having sex with another wife’s man at a different swinger party, taking part in an orgy inside a restroom stall on an interstate highway, showcasing a startup company on “Shark Tank”, killing a man at a poker table, going to jail, buying a horse, and finally coaching girl’s lacrosse at the local high school. This is going to be an exciting new episode of life. 020

Now that I’ve put dating in perspective, I’m wondering why I ever worried about it.

Thank you, John. And please keep up your valuable contributions to this website.

 

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2 comments

  1. John Kabel · May 30, 2016

    If I had realized it was your blog, Aaron, I’d have dropped the Old Testament prophet act and made helpful suggestions instead. Once I realized it was your silly-hat wearing self in the picture, I tried to edit the post, but apparently commenters can’t do that.

    • nynarwhal · May 30, 2016

      Aww im sorry if you want i can take it down…

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