Talkin’ Shit With Dakota McKee

Let's take a closer look at our poop, shall we? Recently a friend of mine told me they hadn't "had a good shit in weeks", and then they asked me if that was too much information. Too much information? Not enough information! Ladies and gentleman, what objectively constitutes a good shit? Think of the R-E-N-T … Continue reading Talkin’ Shit With Dakota McKee

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Llama Life: An Animal’s Approach to Online Dating

Very recently I have discovered that posing as a llama--"llamafishing?"--is a more productive way of talking to people than trying to be myself. The women I've spoken to as "Dakotallama" seem to appreciate and sympathize with the plight of a talking animal who has recently escaped from the zoo. For the most part. Some ringing … Continue reading Llama Life: An Animal’s Approach to Online Dating

“The Fucking Ghetto” and the Fears We Fear

This week, after nearly a year, I finally escaped from the Palisades. My new apartment is located in Columbia Heights, what one person at my writing group dubbed "the heart of the revolution" and what my old housemate declared was "the fucking ghetto" when I told him I was going there. The Palisades were not … Continue reading “The Fucking Ghetto” and the Fears We Fear