Suddenly the door thumps. Harry jumps. Professor Xavier sits down on the couch, takes out an umbrella and points it at the empty fire. The fire remains empty. The family gapes.
Harry: Who are you?
Xavier: My name is Professor Charles Xavier. I don’t expect you to have heard of me, or of my school for gifted young men and women just like you.
Harry: Sorry, no.
Xavier: Harry, has anyone ever taught you about evolution?
Harry: Learnt what?
Xavier: Have you ever made anything happen? Anything you couldn’t explain? Maybe when you were angry or scared.
(Harry softens his expression)
Xavier: You’re a mutant, Harry.
Harry: I’m a…what??????
(Professor Xavier hands Harry a pamphlet advertising Professor X’s school for gifted youngsters)
Harry: But…I always just assumed I was a wizard or something.
Xavier: Harry, a wise man once said the difference between science and magic is indistinguishable if it is sufficiently advanced. Mutation is the next step in the grand narrative of humanity. The process is slow, and usually takes thousands of years, but every few mellenia-
Harry: But Professor, the things I do can’t be explained. I can talk to snakes, make glass disappear…
Xavier: All these strange phenomena are the result of your specific mutation. A mutation which can be most easily explained by science. My mutation, for example, allows me to read another’s mind. Your abilities to talk to snakes, among other things, is encoded in your DNA.
Dursley: He’s not going to some crackpot prep school across the pond! He’s attending Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry just like his old man!
Xavier: One more word out of you, Vernon, and you’ll spend the rest of your days under the belief you’re a six year old girl.
Harry: But…if I’m a mutant…then what are my abilities?
Xavier: I believe that, based on incidents which occurred when you were first born, that you have the power to absorb the souls of those who try to kill you.
Harry: And that is because of a mutation…
Xavier: Harry, people’s mutations cause them to do all sorts of extraordinary things. Move metal. Create weather. Control ice. Look like a toad.
Harry: I always imagined going to school in a castle…
Xavier: My mansion is a castle.
Harry: Play wizard sports…
Xavier: At my school we play chess.
Harry: Wizard chess?
Xavier: Mutant Chess. It’s different.
Harry: …finding my true home and kinship with those I come in contact with.
Xavier: You, Rogue and Iceman will make an excellent trio.
Harry: But what will my new mutant name be?
Xavier: I’ve been thinking that while you’re at my school, because of your special abilities to stop those fight against you…should be Death Eater.
Harry: Death Eater.
Xavier: Now, how about you come with me? Our school’s private jet is waiting just outside.
Dursley: Harry’s not going!
Harry: It’s Death Eater now.
(Professor Xavier freezes the Dursleys in place)
Xavier: Now, we’re a bit behind schedule. Unless you’d rather stay of course. Hmmm?
Harry grins, looks back, and grins again.